


Just the Two of us

by noetherSA



Series: moyashimonmon: tales of tales of agriculture [1]
Category: Moyashimon | Moyasimon: Tales of Agriculture
Genre: F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, male fashion advice, mall goth, semicanon lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noetherSA/pseuds/noetherSA
Summary: Kei and Sawaki go on a wholesome date at the mall and explore how their relationship has changed since Kei started living as a girl.Includes sexual innuendo and a non-explicit but still pretty NWS image from 4chan about diet and exercise





	1. Lookit This Chart!

To: [ yuukik@tau.edu ](mailto:yuukik@tau.edu)

From: [ sawakit@tau.edu ](mailto:sawakit@tau.edu)

Subject: lookit this chart

 

Hey Kei!

 

I found this infographic on 2ch earlier, it looks like something you’d find interesting

 

Also, are you free on saturday? I think I saw a flyer about Lapin Angelique having a sale. We could go down to the mall and check it out and get lunch and stuff. It’ll be fun!

 

-Sawaki

 

Attachment: [onnanoko na moudo.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qIoUuQD.jpg)

  


To: [ sawakit@tau.edu ](mailto:sawakit@tau.edu)

 

From: [ yuukik@tau.edu ](mailto:yuukik@tau.edu)

 

Subject: Re: lookit this chart

 

Oooooh, I’ll have to try some of this out. I’ve definitely heard some of that stuff before, but seeing it all laid out like that feels all motivational haha. I wonder if the professor would have any input on this... maybe there’s a good way to maximize the effects or something!

 

The mall sounds good. I saw a super pretty dress there last time I went but all their stuff is so pricy so I couldn’t get it（ i Д i ）Should we invite the rest of the gang, or just go the two of us?

 

From: [ sawakit@tau.edu ](mailto:sawakit@tau.edu)

 

To: [ yuukik@tau.edu ](mailto:yuukik@tau.edu)

 

Subject: Re: Re: lookit this chart

 

Ah, just the two of us would be nice


	2. Saturday Morning in the Autonomous Dorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sawaki Soemon Tadayasu: Nominal protagonist and harmless geek boy with the power to visualize microbes. He attends Tokyo Agricultural University.

Saturday morning, Sawaki Soemon Tadayasu woke up before Misato and Kawahama.  In the autonomous dorm, being an early riser meant getting up before 11 on a weekend. Almost all the guys at Agri-U were the sort to stay up until 4 AM playing korean mmos or getting in petty arguments about anime on 2chan or idly clicking through videos on niconico douga. At around 9, it might as well have been a crypt. Even the microbes were still sluggish and apathetic in the cool dry air of an early spring morning. The only real sign of life were the birds chirping outside.

 

Sawaki set up their rice cooker, sat back on his futon and checked the time on his phone. Kei had wanted to meet up around 12 so he had some time to kill before he had to get ready. At his side was a pile of light novels and manga his roommates had been trying to get him to read. A lot of them were really awful, and the ones that he liked were good for totally different reasons than what they said. They were always going on about how hot the girls in whatever series were, but he really couldn’t care less. Like, it’s the 21st century. All of the hentai in existence was online for free if you know where to look. If he was looking to jerk off, he’d just go do that. In his mind, if a series wasn’t interesting on its own, boobs weren’t gonna make it any more worth reading.

 

Right now he was trying to catch up on Haruhi in time for the anime adaptation everyone was so hyped up about. It was one of the few good things they’d recommended him in a while. The premise had a real Twilight Zone sorta feel to it, and he really liked the dynamic the characters had. In some ways Haruhi’s band of weirdos kinda reminded him of the fermentation lab crew. Through most of middle and high school he had a pretty sparse friend group, usually just himself, Kei, and one or two other guys who they never quiiite meshed with. They both had something to hide from the world after all: Kei with her natural femininity and Sawaki with his ability. Sawaki was ecstatic to finally connect with a big group of friends and colleagues that accepted and worked with each of their idiosyncrasies. It felt good to be part of something meaningful and cooperative for once.

 

Sawaki hadn’t gotten to hang out with Kei for a while. Professor Itsuki and had been keeping the fermentation lab crew pretty busy recently trying to figure out how to accelerate the fermentation of kiviak. He thought it was kind of interesting, but damn, why did all of the professor’s interests have to smell so bad? The thought of  surströmming forced its way into his brain and he almost threw up in his mouth a little. Kei had been busy too, working hard at the liquor store, like always. Apparently some big business deal was going down in town and the back room bar had been packed full of old men in suits talking about clandestine things every night for a while. They still texted back and forth and emailed a lot, but it just wasn’t the same as meeting face to face. 

 

Sawaki wondered when Kei would start taking classes again. Maybe they’d get like, a night class in a big lecture hall together, and she’d get all drowsy and stuff and fall asleep with her head on his shoulder or something. That would be nice. He could feel his pants getting a little tight, too, confirming the niceness of the scenario.

 

Some small part of Sawaki’s mind always nagged at him when he caught himself thinking of Kei  _ like that _ . Was it okay to think about her like that? Was thinking of her as a woman at all okay? He’d known her as a boy for most of his life after all. To his credit though, it  _ was _ a small part that thought like that. The two had transitioned their dynamic from two close but  _ mostly _ platonic guy friends to a man and a woman dancing on the edge of romance super easily. Could something that came so naturally to them really be wrong? The majority of Sawaki seemed to think not. And like, Kei seemed to adjust to being one of the girls like it had just always been that way. By the same token, it seemed weird and sorta rude to insist that she was still a man. 

 

Click. The rice was done. Sawaki scooped himself out a bowl, pulled an egg out of the mini fridge and cracked it open over his bowl of rice. He let the egg sizzle on top of it for a moment and then vigorously stirred it in.

 

He kinda thought he ought to like, confess to her and maybe ask her out on a date one of these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, full disclosure, I have no fucking idea where anyone in this story besides marie, kawahama and misato live. I thiiiink Sawaki lives in the dorm with those two but honestly I don’t know


	3. Kei Looks Cooler Than You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki Kei: former son of a sake brewer and current waitress and business consultant at Hiyoshi Liquor. You don't know it yet, but she's the reason you're here.

Kei wondered what she was gonna wear to her date with Tadayasu. This was like, their fifth one by her count. While she respected that he probably had some reservations about being too familiar with her at first, it had been almost a year since she’d started living as a girl. She’d hoped that he’d start taking the initiative by then, you know? She knew from growing up with him that he got really shy around girls he liked, and while she found that endearing, she reeeally wished he’d invite her back to his place after a date for some ~alone time~ already, or at least have the common courtesy to stick his tongue down her throat. A girl has needs, ya know. 

By now, she’d amassed a good collection of pretty sharp goth-lolita gear. She’d considered branching out into other fashion styles a couple times, but there was so much more depth in goth-loli yet to plumb. It seemed like every time she went looking for stuff there was some cutesy headpiece or a handbag, or a phone charm, or boots, or... maybe part of why the style was so all-consuming was the sheer complexity of it all. Sometimes she felt like an astronaut getting suited up when she got dressed in the morning. But hey, it looked cool as hell, and as everyone knows, looking cool is the highest moral authority. 

One of these days, she wanted to try to make her own goth-loli dress. She’d seen some pictures some of her internet friends had posted of them making their own custom clothes and accessories and it seemed like a lot of fun. Maybe once she got a handle on all this liquor store business she could try. Fashion design was probably too big an enterprise to take on on top of all the other stuff she had going on, unfortunately.

Let’s see, she thought, what kind of message do I want to convey today? She ran her fingers through the dresses and such in her closet. She pulled out a dress with a keyhole style chest, and considered wearing that but then she thought better of it. Don’t want to seem too desperate or anything. Plus it’s not like she really had anything to show off in that department anyway. At least, not yet. Maybe if she stuck to that chart Sawaki had sent her the other night she could make something happen there. 

After much deliberation, she settled on an outfit that said, hey, I’m your friendly girl-next-door goth-loli and it’s our fifth date, so if it’s not too much trouble I’d really appreciate it if you’d push me up against a wall and open-mouth kiss me already. Come to think of it, a little desperation might have seeped through at the end there.

See, this is why Goth-loli was such a good aesthetic. You can practically write a thesis with your outfit choices if you’re good enough.

She checked the time. Tadayasu was supposed to be over in like half an hour, just enough time to do her makeup really fast before he got there. Concealer over her beard shadow. Pale foundation. Black lipstick. Dark eyeliner. Light blush. Mascara. Setting spray. She checked herself out in the mirror to make sure everything came together right. She looked cool as fuck.


	4. Chapter 4

Sawaki thought about what to wear for about five seconds before pulling on a t-shirt, his Agri-U jacket, and some jeans. He hastily combed back his hair with his fingers and headed out to meet up with Kei


	5. Sad Girls Shop at Lapin Angelique

The mall was packed, because of course it was. It was a saturday afternoon in Tokyo, everyplace was packed. The duo brushed past the greeters and solicitors passing out tissues by the front entrance, waded through probably 300 people, and finally made it to that holy grail of gothic fashion: Lapin Angelique.

 

Kei’s face lit up and she immediately beelined over to one of the dresses on display. The store was less people-dense than the main atriums of the mall, but since everyone inside was wearing hoop skirts and puffy sleeves it didn’t really make much practical difference. 

 

“T-Tadayasu! Look at this dress, oh my god!” she pulled it off the rack and held it out in front of her. Then something else caught her eye and she pulled that off too “Aah this is so cool. Check out the silhouette! It totally screams like, ‘The bourgeoisie will sell us the rope we use to hang them!’ or something.”

 

“Oh! Yeah that’s really cute. I like the lace... thing... on the shoulder there” To Sawaki, everything in the store looked basically exactly the same. He was effectively fashion illiterate. “The uh, the belt stuff on the other one looks neat too.” 

 

“Oh I know, right?”

 

“Er, I think both of them would probably look nice on you.” 

 

“Awh, thanks. Well, I sure hope they do, at least.” Kei grinned ear to ear, an odd combination with her morose style of dress. 

 

Kei made a lap around the store picking out an armful of skirts and socks and tops and things while Sawaki followed close behind, idly commenting on her choices. He wished he had more to say then the occasional “oh that’s cute” or whatever. Kei was one of his closest friends after all. It sucked not being able to connect with her on something she obviously was very passionate about. He hoped she didn’t think he was uninterested.

 

“Come to think of it, I think I kinda need some new clothes too” Sawaki ventured, cautiously, “do you think you’d be up for heading over to Parco after this to help me pick stuff out? You’re, uh, a lot better at all this than I am.” 

 

Kei looked surprised. “Oh? Yeah that could be fun! Let me try this stuff on real quick and then we can head over.” she ducked behind a curtain and entered a dressing room stall.

 

A few minutes later, Kei emerged wearing some of the clothes she had picked out. “So? How do I look?” she flashed Sawaki an expectant grin and struck a suggestive pose, her right hand in a “victory” sign.

 

Sawaki tried really hard. “I like it. Uhm, I like how the belts on the dress go with the straps and stuff on your boots?”

 

“Ah! I thought so too. I think the bodice on this makes my waist look really good. Or I guess, it makes me look like I have one to start with.” she giggled a bit. “Okay I got one more round of stuff to go through and then we can go eat or something. I’m getting pretty hungry actually.” Again, she disappeared behind the curtain.

 

_ What the fuck is a bow dice? _ thought Sawaki,  _ Boa dies? Boat ice?  _ Clearly there was more to learn.

 

A rolled up sock tumbled out from under the curtain, and Sawaki stopped it with his shoe and picked it up.

 

“Shit! Uh, Tadayasu, can you get that? I'm a little indisposed right now.”

 

Sawaki opened the curtain a bit and held out the socks, and Kei accepted them. Sawaki couldn't help but catch a glimpse of what had been going on in there. Kei had removed her wig while she was changing and her bare chest was exposed. Suddenly it hit him what he was seeing: a girl in a pretty advanced state of undress. He felt himself getting flushed and he swung the curtain closed in a jolt.

 

“Oh fuck, sorry!”

 

He heard a perplexed laugh from inside the dressing room. It started as a giggle and crescendoed into a belly laugh. Sawaki could hear Kei’s voice crack a little. 

 

“I'm really sorry for peeking! I-I-I wasn't thinki-”

 

“Nonono it's fine, it's fine. Not like it's anything you haven't seen before, right?” She giggled again “Still, it's kinda funny- I'm not used to having something to hide like that yet. I feel like a maligned woman in an anime or something”

 

“Wait is that good or bad”

 

“Er, It's... good, I think? I like feeling like a girl. Although, I guess we both kind of have to watch out a little more now, huh?” Much shuffling followed. “Uh, hold on another minute, this dress is... complicated.” Shuffle shuffle. Shuffle

 

Shuffle 

 

“Tadayasu?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I fucking hate this dress now.”

 

Kei changed back into her own clothes without incident and purchased the first outfit. With the sale, it only cost 25000 yen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LA was started in Shibuya in the mid 90s by the late c-tier famous musician and runway model Kawaguchi Torako and her band SEX BUNNY as a storefront for local seamstresses to sell their work. The store gained popularity during the goth-loli boom around the turn of the millennium, and it started to carry clothes from larger manufacturers. By the present day, LA carries primarily mass market goods because they are cheap and accessible to most customers while a custom made dress might cost 30000 yen or more. Kawaguchi tragically died in a car accident in 2001 and the band members broke apart to focus on other projects soon after. Kei held a midnight vigil the night after she heard.


	6. Wait, We're Dating?

Sunshine Burger: the last line of defense between hungry youths and starvation while away from home. Luckily for Sawaki and Kei, the mall they were in came equipped with not one, but two of them. Truly a feat of modern city planning.

 

The lunch rush was over by then and the line at the restaurant was mercifully short. The cacophony of timers going off in the kitchen and people chatting dominated the establishment, and the scent of cheap fast food wafted over them. It was familiar, and if they were to think too hard about it, that was probably pretty distressing.

 

“Hiwelcome to Sunshine whatcanigetforyoutoday” said the cashier, clearly not close enough to the end of his shift.

 

Kei stepped forward. “Hello~ Can I get a- wait, hold on. Tadayasu, you go first. I gotta think about this a little more.”

 

“Mmkay. Can I get a, uh, a Spokane steak sandwich combo-”

 

“Smallmediumorlarge”

 

“Medium.”

 

“Are you two paying together?”

 

“No, I’ll pay separately.” said Kei

 

Sawaki grinned to himself. _Ha_ , he thought, _That guy must’ve thought we were a couple_.

 

“Okayhere’syourrecipt we’llbringitoutwhenit’sready.” the cashier turned to face Kei. “And for you, miss?”

 

Kei stepped up to order again, clearly trying to fight off a grin. “Yeah, uh, can I have a charlottesville chicken sandwich?”

 

“Wouldyouliketomakethatacombo”

 

“No, thank you.”

 

“Okayhere’syourrecipt we’llbringitoutwhenit’sready.”

 

Sawaki spotted an open booth and sat down. Kei slid in next to him on the same side of the booth. Her shoulder pressed up against his, and a wave of comfort and satisfaction washed over him. _Man_ , he thought, _I should really ask her out on a date already_. He was kinda surprised though. Usually friends sit opposite each other at restaurants, right? Wasn’t this a little close, too? Was there something he wasn’t getting here?

 

...Nah.

 

“Hey Tadayasu, did you hear that? He called me ‘miss!’” Kei was beaming. She looked like she had just received her first compliment in her entire life.

 

“Does that not happen a lot?” Sawaki was surprised at the intensity of her reaction. “I mean, you look like a girl to me, at least.”

 

“I guess the novelty hasn’t worn off just yet,” Kei explained, “But dealing with service workers is always a little nerve-wracking, you know? You never know if they’re gonna ‘sir’ you and then the rest of the interaction just gets suuuper uncomfortable.”

 

“Huh, I guess I hadn’t really thought about that too much”

 

“Well, If you ever decide to crossdress full time, you’ll run into a lot of situations you haven’t thought about much,” said Kei, “Oh! Speaking of, I’m probably gonna end up smudging off all of my lipstick while I’m eating, do you think you can, come with me to the bathroom afterwards so I can re-apply it? I don’t want to run into any weirdos alone.”

 

“Yeah, for sure.” a beat. “Wait, don’t you use the women’s restroom now? How am I supposed to follow you in _there_?”

 

“Oh. I usually use the men’s toilet still. Do you think I should switch? I’m kind of scared either way.”

 

“I mean, you _are_ a girl, right?”

 

“Iunno, am I?” Kei playfully raised an eyebrow.

 

“Aren’t you?”

 

“I guess probably. I’m just nervous.” she leaned her head into Sawaki’s shoulder. “Just come with me for now, okay?”

 

Sawaki’s heart felt like it was gonna pound straight out of his chest. How could anyone possibly refuse a request like that?

 

As usual, the food arrived a little too quickly. The waitress dropped their trays off and flashed Sawaki a knowing smile before continuing on to another table.

 

Kei carefully removed her elbow length leather gloves, folded them up and placed them in her bag. Underneath, she had painted her nails black, because of course. They dug in.

 

“Don’t you usually like the burgers here better?” Sawaki asked.

 

“I mean yeah,” Kei said between bites, “but that [chart](https://imgur.com/qIoUuQD) you sent me said no red meat, so I had to improvise.”

 

“Oh yeah, what’d you think about that? I really have no idea about, like, the dietary stuff, but it sounded like something that could work.”

 

“Yeah. I mean, the food part is probably pretty easy. I already don’t eat much red meat, and I eat a ton of soy.” she pulled a printout of the chart out of her purse, and looked it over for a moment. “Oh! And I guess you can help me with the semen requirement.”

 

Sawaki almost choked on his drink. Kei, who had apparently been lying in wait for his reaction for several days, started laughing uncontrollably.

 

“S-semen requirement?!” Sawaki had completely forgot that was in there.

 

“Yeah, it says right here. 500-1000 mg a day. Think you even have that much in you?”

 

There were a lot of thoughts swirling around in Sawaki’s mind at this moment. He knew something about how Kei had been acting today seemed fishy, and now it kinda sounded like she was propositioning him for sex. Were... were they actually a couple? Was this a date? He figured he should ask Kei herself.

 

“H-hey Kei, is this a date? Are we dating? I mean I really like you, like, _like you_ like you, and I mean, uh...”

 

Kei stared back at him, apparently amused by the trouble he was having. “It’s okay, take your time.” she turned and hugged him from the side.

 

“Uh, I guess, if you need help with the semen requirement I’m down to uh... contribute?”

 

“Pfffffft HAHAHAHA” Kei started laughing again. She kissed him on the cheek. “Okay Casanova. How about we wait until we get Itsuki’s take on this before we start thinking about sucking all the fluid out of your body?”

 

Sawaki was embarrassed. He felt like an idiot, both for not being more forward with his own attraction and being oblivious to Kei’s probably incredibly obvious feelings. But at the same time, he was overjoyed to officially be on romantic terms with her... although, thinking about it more, they kinda had been for a while already.

 

As she predicted, Kei had smudged off most of her lipstick by the time they finished eating.

 

“Tadayasu, wanna hit the restroom?”

 

The bathroom was empty when they went in, thankfully. Sawaki had no idea what to do if someone in there noticed that Kei was... whatever she was, and tried to start something. Could he protect her? He couldn't bear the thought of his best friend getting hurt. Kei bent over the counter and stared intently into the mirror as she carefully re-applied her lipstick, and Sawaki leaned against the counter next to her.

 

Sawaki remembered the time she'd cold cocked him when she found out he'd seen Marie naked. _You know_ , he thought, _Kei probably wouldn't need too much help if it came down to it._ But still, the thought worried him.

 

The door swung open and Sawaki jumped half a foot. A little kid, probably about eight, walked in, saw Kei and freaked out, presumably thinking he'd entered the wrong room. Sawaki regained his composure and explained that he had the right room. Confused, the child entered a stall and proceeded to do his thing.

  
_This whole full time crossdressing thing must be incredibly stressful_ , mused Sawaki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Spokane Steak Sandwich is one of Sunshine’s America-themed sandwiches. It features 1/4 lb of peppered roast beef, mushrooms, a slice of swiss cheese, and a horseradish mayonnaise spread.
> 
> The Charlottesville Chicken sandwich is another of Sunshine's America-themed sandwiches. It features a fried chicken breast with a blend of spices meant to imitate a certain american fast food chain, along with lettuce and a slice of tomato. It was later renamed following the violent neo-nazi rally that took place in charlottesville in 2017.


	7. Jeans Like the Rings of a Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mutou Aoi: Though she used to be a useless lebian who once bit a girl she liked, she is now a connoisseur of alcohol and other women's beds. The only person officially enrolled in the Itsuki lab seminar.
> 
> Oikawa Hazuki: Hates germs, loves girls. One time, she led the gang on a quest to uncover professor Itsuki's clandestine underground lab, which was actually a wine cellar.

_ You know, if you really think about it, holding hands is a pretty mystical sensation _ , thought Kei, holding Tadayasu’s hand in hers as they walked to Parco. Our hands are one of the primary ways we as humans interact with the world around us. What we do with our hands is indicative of what we're focusing on, one of two tasks important enough to allocate our dexterity and sense of touch to. The sensation of holding hands with someone goes beyond feeling the warmth of their body and the pressure of their grip, it's also the wonderful feeling that right here, right now, you matter to them.

 

Kei wanted to be enthusiastic about helping Tadayasu pick out some new clothes. The only major change in his wardrobe since they were first years in high school was the Agri-U jacket, after all. She could recognize specific scuffs and discolorations on his jeans from when they were kids. And like, in the year of our lord 2005, who wears a Chrono Trigger T-shirt? The man literally dressed like a high schooler, is the point.

 

That said, Kei loathed men’s clothes. It wasn’t like, a thing relating to her crossdressing, or whatever it was she was doing. Not directly, at least. She’d become hyper-aware of how same-y it all was years ago. She could go to the women’s section of a store -not just Lapin Angelique or something, literally any clothing store- and find ten different dresses with completely different necklines, sleeves, lengths, or any of a dozen other minute details that could distinguish it from any other dress in the store. And then, over in the men’s section, there’s t-shirts, there’s button downs, there’s polo shirts, there’s suits, there’s slacks, there’s jeans... and the only real differences between a given item and everything else in its class were like, the pattern, or the brand logos garishly plastered all over. Menswear was where fashion went to die. Honestly if Kei had her way everyone would just wear women’s clothes and then everyone would look cool all the time.

 

But still, this was quality time with the boy she loved, who was she to say no? She squeezed his hand tighter and he responded in kind. 

 

It occurred to her that it really wasn't that surprising that Tadayasu had misunderstood her intentions for so long. She'd confessed to him before, like, years ago, when they were “boys,” and it always went like: 

 

“H-Hey Tadayasu, I really like you, and uh, I guess I wanna try being something more than friends?”

 

And then he'd grin really wide and be like “Whoa you mean like best friends???” 

 

And then Kei would have no idea where to go from there and freeze up and later she'd cry about it. That kind of oblivious non-rejection could really do a number on a delicate young girl's heart.

 

But here they were, finally, together the way she'd always wanted.

 

Anyway. Clothes. Tadayasu. Right. Parco had a pretty good inventory usually. She remembered getting  _ some _ boy clothes there she liked, at least. Maybe if she was lucky--

 

“Yuuki! Sawaki!” a voice called out to them from the crowd. Kei turned so see Mutou waving at them, with Oikawa standing next to her, looking sheepish.  _ Were they... _ Kei thought she saw something.  _ Were they holding hands just now? _

 

Kei and Tadayasu waved back. The four of them ducked out of the way of the crowd of shoppers and clustered around a railing overlooking an atrium on the lower floor. 

 

“Aww, look Hazuki, they’re on a date!” Mutou poked Oikawa with her elbow. Oikawa nearly jumped out of her skin. 

 

Kei wrapped her arm around Tadayasu’s shoulder. “Yeah, you got us. This idiot didn’t know we were dating until today, apparently.” she flashed him a wry smile.

 

“Y-you gotta be more forward is all! I’m dense as hell, you know this about me!”

 

“Wait really?” Mutou’s face was the picture of mirth. “Haven’t you been together for like--”

 

“About two months. Yes.” Kei sighed. “Anyway, we were on our way to Parco to get him some new clothes. Wanna come help? I uh, I don’t actually know that much about men’s fashion.”

 

“Whoa,” Mutou feigned exaggerated surprise. “Sawaki, getting new clothes? I think I still see stains from when I brought back the surstromming on your shirt.”

 

“Wait,” Oikawa spoke up, finally. “Weren’t you like, a-” she apparently realized that loudly announcing that Kei used to be a guy in the middle of a crowded mall probably wasn’t a great idea. She continued in a quieter tone of voice: “Weren’t you a boy for like 19 years? Shouldn’t you know about these things?”

 

“M-maybe? That doesn’t mean I learned anything though! You remember what I dressed like, right? I was almost as hopeless as dear old Tadayasu here.” she gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

 

“Almost.”

 

“Almost.”

 

“Aaanyway,” Kei wanted to change the subject before ribbing Tadayasu went too far, “what brings you two here this fine Saturday afternoon?”

 

Something in Oikawa snapped. “W-what?? Can a couple of gal pals not spend time together on the weekend these days without people reading too much into things? Why would you think something suspicious was going on? I’m completely innocent I tell you, I’ve never done something obscene in my life! I came out here today to have a good time and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now--”

 

Mutou coughed, blushed, and looked at her feet. “We’re uh, also on a date.”

 

Oikawa looked like she might die on the spot.

 

“Oooh how adorable! I’m so happy for you!” Kei had been waiting for this for a long time. She’d heard what had happened after the spring festival, it was only a matter of time before they got serious. 

 

“Wait, I thought you said you liked older men?” Sawaki said, confused.

 

“W-well sometimes I like pretty girls too, okay?”

 

Mutou put her arm around Oikawa’s waist and pulled her close. “Awwwwwwww, thanks baby.” Oikawa looked like she might melt.


	8. Fashion is The Highest Moral Authority

Parco, was, of course, a mob scene. Or rather, the women’s clothing section and the cosmetics sales floor were. The men’s section was comparatively peaceful, as always. Crossing the border between sections of the store felt like entering a boss room in a souls game or something. There might as well have been a physical barrier separating the two halves of the store. Kei mused that most guys were probably at least as apathetic about how they dressed as Tadayasu was and she used to be. 

 

“Okay,” Kei said, trying to take charge, “what’s our plan here, exactly? I don’t think any of us are exactly experts here, so I guess we can just throw out ideas and see what works together?” she thought for a moment. “Uh, first of all, I guess I think that jacket looks kind of nice on you,” she put her hands on Tadayasu’s shoulders and slid them down his arms, “like in terms of the color and style and stuff. But wearing university swag is kind of gauche? Let’s see if we can find something like it that’s more its own thing, I guess.”

 

“I like plaid,” said the lesbian.

 

“I like denim,” said her girlfriend

 

“I like that shirt over there,” said Tadayasu.

 

“Sawaki, you already have a shirt almost exactly like that. I saw you wear it on Tuesday.” Mutoh interjected.

 

“Yeah but it’s a nice shirt.”

 

“Tadayasu, if you turn into That Guy who has twelve copies of the same outfit in his wardrobe and wears the same thing every day like a cartoon character I will end you.” Kei meant it. She knew a few guys that did that and it was the worst. If looking cool was the highest moral authority, people like that were the ultimate visceral evil. Like, they weren’t in highschool anymore. It’s okay to wear different things. This whole avenue of expression had just really opened up for them and they were really aggressively squandering it.

 

“Okay really though,” Mutoh continued, “like one of those plaid flannel shirts would probably look nice, like with the sleeves rolled up and stuff”

 

“We gotta look for t-shirts that aren’t like, pop culture things, too. You gotta wear jackets and flannels over something, right?” Oikawa said.

 

“Mmhm. Let’s see if we can find one that fits you right. Men’s tees are usually super baggy and it looks awful. Also you need new jeans badly. Those things are ancient and gross.” Kei said, eyeing his pants. “Let’s look for a t-shirt first, since they’re all like right over there.” she gestured towards a group of racks near the party.

 

“Okay, ground rules for t-shirts: no big brand logos and no shirts that are just one solid color. It’s gotta have some kind of design on it otherwise what’s the point.” Kei gestured to Oikawa and Mutou. “Could you guys check that half of the section? We can go through this part over here.”

 

The gang split up and quickly lost sight of each other among the racks and shelves strategically placed throughout the store to make it as difficult to navigate as possible. Kei had wanted to split up so the others could have some alone time together, but it was probably gonna be kind of a pain tracking them down again. Whatever. 

 

“Hey Kei, check this shirt out!” Tadayasu beckoned her over to a shelf of shirts, and held one out. “What do you think?” The shirt was burnt orange with a v-neck collar. On the left shoulder, it had a design that looked like a stylized stingray skeleton. “Mutou mentioned the hongeohoe earlier and this kinda reminded me of that I guess”

 

“Whoa, that’s really cool!” Kei was impressed. The shirt actually looked pretty sharp. She thanked the stars Tadayasu had at least some sense of style down there somewhere. “The cut looks like it might fit okay too, even. Let’s start making our way over to the others I guess. Maybe they found something better but that thing is pretty solid.”

 

It took a couple minutes to find Oikawa and Mutou again, but Kei managed to expedite the process by wearing heels and already being sort of tall. Parco’s attempts to trap its customers inside forever was foiled by someone who could see over the displays. She called out to them and they met back up again.

 

“Hey guys, Tadayasu found a pretty good shirt, unless you guys found something amazing I think we ought to just go with his pick.”

 

“Oh, lame,” Mutou was clearly disappointed. “We found this thing so far, whatcha think about it?” 

 

The shirt Mutou had found had a cartoon dog and cat with their arms around each other’s shoulders. A bunch of rows of english text were printed below them. 

 

“Hey Mutou,” Tadayasu said, “I know my english isn’t exactly the best, but I’m pretty sure that’s all gibberish down there. And uh, isn’t ‘fuck’ a curse in english? I’m not sure I wanna wear something like that.”

 

“But the animals are really cute though! Look at them, they’re best friends!” Oikawa pouted a bit. 

 

“I’m not sure about a grown man wearing something on the basis of cute animals," Kei Interjected, "Uh, not that I’m really in a place to lecture anyone about conforming to gendered clothing or anything, but that’s like, the bad, dumb kind of nonconformity, you know?” 

 

“Lame, I was really hoping to get a picture of him in that,” Mutou said.

 

“Come on, I’m dense but I’m not tasteless.” Tadayasu folded his arms.

 

Next up they looked at jeans. Jeans were weird in that they had a ton of subtle variation but in the end they looked exactly the same most of the time. Plus with the way they had to be broken in, it was really easy to fall into a cycle of only wearing one pair ever.

 

“Since you’re getting that orange shirt, should we look at different colors of jeans? Blue pants would probably look pretty garish with it,” Oikawa observed. “What about black jeans? Those look pretty cool sometimes.”

 

“Ugh, every pair of black jeans I have always gets really gross with lint and stuff sticking to it,” Mutou scrunched up her face a bit.

 

“Yeah, I think I’ve had that happen a couple times too,” Tadayasu mused. “What about like, dark grey jeans? If they collect lint, people won’t see it as much, I guess? Plus it would still look okay with the shirt.”

 

“I think it has something to do with what the fabric’s made out of. Stuff that’s more form fitting has always been the worst about it for me, I think, so something that has a more casual fit would probably be better about it.” The fundamental rules of material science left Kei in despair. Form-fitting clothes just looked cooler, you know?

 

Tadayasu picked out a pair of grey jeans off a shelf for the brand he usually liked. 

 

Kei picked up a pair too. “Mutou, Oikawa, watch this!” she slid her hand into one of the front pockets on the jeans. Her arm fit in almost to her elbow. The other girls looked on in despair, their own pockets only deep enough for a handful of change. 

 

Next up was the flannel. By the same logic as before, the gang decided that black and white plaid was probably the best thing to go with that orange shirt. The color was sort of overbearing, so mixing it with a lot of other colors would look super noisy.

 

Then the gang found the holy grail: the jacket of jackets, supreme overlord of all outerwear, monarch of the spring and fall seasons. It was a washed out olive green coat made of a stiff fabric, with fleece lining on the inside. The front had two sets of pockets, one at the breast and another hidden pair at the waist. A white cat skull surrounded by a splash of rice stalks was embroidered on the bottom right hand side, and the left shoulder had a snake coiled up in an infinity sign. Across the back shoulders, the phrase “Don’t die wondering” was embroidered, in english. It was beautiful.

 

“Tadayasu, you’re getting this. This is the coolest jacket in the world and you need it” Kei might have been drooling a little bit.

 

The dressing room in the men’s department was, predictably, mostly empty. The only time a guy would actually try on clothes is if three girls were waiting around the corner pressuring him. Kei waited outside Tadayasu’s stall while Oikawa and Mutou hung out on some seats in the anteroom outside. 

 

Suddenly a balled-up pair of socks rolled out from under the door. Kei could see that Tadayasu had kicked it.

 

“Hey Kei, could you grab that for me?”

 

Playing along, Kei stooped down to pick up the socks. Suddenly the door opened, and Tadayasu grabbed her hand, pulling her into the stall with him. He backed Kei up against one of the walls and awkwardly closed the door with his foot.

 

“Hey.” he said, trying to look cool but obviously nervous. 

 

“Hey.” Kei replied, trying to look innocent but obviously a little turned on.

 

“How do I look?” he looked down briefly to indicate towards his new outfit.

 

He looked handsome as fuck. He’d rolled up the sleeves of the flannel shirt and the jacket, exposing his forearms. Kei had a big thing for forearms, one of the most underappreciated parts of a man, in her eyes. Even though Tadayasu wasn’t much less noodly than her, it really upped his sex appeal. 

 

“You look gorgeous, baby”

 

He placed his hands on Kei’s waist and slid them down to her hips, and moved in to kiss her. With her heels she was most of a head taller than him so he had to get up on his toes to reach. She hugged him tight against her body as their lips met. As their tongues slid past each other, they both let out satisfied little moans. Kei could feel Tadayasu’s dick rubbing up next to her own, and she rocked her hips up and down ever so slightly to intensify the sensation, sending jolts of pleasure through her pelvis with each pass. It was the sloppiest of sloppy adolescent fawning, but god damn it sometimes that just hit the spot.

 

They broke apart for a moment to catch their breath, both of them breathing heavily, lost in the moment. Tadayasu’s face was flushed and Kei could feel hers burning up as well. She’d gotten black lipstick smudged all over his mouth again, too. She felt a deep catharsis finally being able to express the affection she’d built up over the years. When she more fully returned to her senses, she noticed Tadayasu appeared deep in thought. A pang of terror hit her.

 

“Oh god I'm so sorry. Was that weird? Did I go too far there? Fuck. Shit.”

 

“I guess it was a little odd? But I like you, okay? And want ‘us’ to work.” Tadayasu sighed. “Look Kei, there's no way you're the only girl in the world like you, right? And I can't be the only guy to have ever liked someone like you, either. If those other people can make it work, then like, I'm sure we can too.”

 

Tadayasu stood up on his tiptoes again and gave her a peck on the cheek.

 

“It's gonna be fine, okay?” He held Kei's ands in his and she swung them side to side a bit.

 

Kei nodded. She was starting to feel a little choked up. I mean, this was a lot of emotions to process all at once, after all. She hugged him tight and the tears started to flow. 

 

“Hey. Hey! It's okay. I got you.” Tadayasu patted her on the back as she cried into his shoulder.

 

“Oh god,” Kei said, between sniffles, “I'm such a mess. Can I like, just sit here for a minute?” she gestured towards the bench in the dressing room. “I uh, I won’t stare or anything. Like if you get changed again.”

 

“Uh, yeah, sure. I mean, it’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before, right?” Tadayasu winked, obviously pleased as punch that he did a thing.

 

Kei smiled a bit in acknowledgement that yes, he did indeed do a thing, and took a seat on the bench. She mostly stared at the ground while Tadayasu changed back into his own clothes. She quickly peeked once or twice, but like, there honestly wasn’t much to see. He was a pretty unassuming guy, honestly. Not that she thought he was unattractive or something, she thought he had a cute face, and feeling his dick a minute ago filled her head with all sorts of ideas. Rather, just being there near him was so much more important. Tadayasu made her feel safe, he always had.

 

Tadayasu had finished changing. He adjusted the collar on his Agri-U jacket and hastily wiped off the lipstick smudge. He turned to Kei, hand extended.

 

“Ready to go?” 

 

“Yeah.” Kei carefully wiped the tears from her eyes so as not to smudge up her eye makeup too much. She took his hand and rose to her feet. “Let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you, dear reader, are also fed up with linty black pants, try looking for worsted wool and spandex-less clothes. Spandex and other stretchy fabric builds up static charge like a motherfucker and attracts random bits of garbage from all over creation. The texture of some softer fabrics can contain short fibers that poke out of the garment like little hooks, and this can also pick up debris. Worsted wool is supposedly good for this since the fibers tend to be really long and tightly woven together, so finding clothes with that sort of material is the best way to avoid lint accumulation. Failing that, dryer sheets can help neutralize the charge on the static-y clothes you already, no doubt, have.


End file.
